


Don’t Give Up, You Are Loved

by halloweenpumpkins



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Eventual Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Smut, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 10:25:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20851913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halloweenpumpkins/pseuds/halloweenpumpkins
Summary: Geneva Rayborn is finding it difficult in her sixth year at Hogwarts to accept the Potions Master may not love her in return. On the night of Slughorn's Christmas party, she succumbs to this, and proceeds to jump from the Astronomy Tower to her death. When none other but Snape stops her suicidal act, will Severus continue to see her feelings as inappropriate folly?





	1. Chapter 1

I ran past the Great Hall late at night, my heels clacking on the loud floor of Hogwarts. I was still in my gown. I attended Slughorn's Christmas party earlier that evening. Emeralds and onyxs cascaded down my body in an elegant fashion. Trust me to show Slytherin support in a fancy dress. Sobbing I rushed up the changing staircases towards the Astronomy Tower roof. When I arrived, I looked over the top down all the way to the snow on the ground.

I heard movement behind me on the roof. "Stop." A silky voice commanded. I dreaded that voice above all others. "Miss Rayborn, that was an order." His tone grew harsher, if such a thing were even possible.

I didn't listen. I took another step toward the edge.

The Potions Master sighed. "Miss Rayborn, please. Consider what you are doing."

"I have considered this." I told him boldly. "It's the only thing I can think about lately."

I heard him sigh again. "I know it is not all you think about, Miss Rayborn. Come down from there and speak with me privately, of course."

I turned back toward Snape to see his black orbs shoot me a pleading look.

"Please..." Severus implored, a concerned gaze on me.

"You don't have your wand, Professor. You can't stop me." I replied crossly.

I was about to jump when a black cloud surrounded me and I felt as though I was being sucked into a vacuum.

The next moment I was in the DADA classroom and Severus was in front of me, a troubled expression on his face that I had never seen before.

He took a deep breath. "Tell me, Miss Rayborn. How long have you experienced these unspoken desires for me?"

"How...how did I get here?" I wondered aloud.

Severus scowled. "I apparated us here. Now, tell me. Or shall I penetrate your mind for further answers myself?"

"How do you know? These...were private feelings, sir. No one knew, especially not you."

Snape crossed his arms and began to circle me. "Please give me more respect. I am an exceptionally skilled Legilimens, Miss Rayborn. And with your record of all Outstandings in every class, you know this as well."

My heart was pounding as the man finally stopped circling me. His gaze upon me was direct and intense. "I apologize for those vulgar wishes, professor."

Severus let out a deep sigh. "Why did you attempt to jump from the Astronomy Tower, even after I confronted you?"

"I felt worthless. I knew it was forbidden to feel those things for a professor, sir. I knew you didn't return my feelings." I answered with regret.

"Miss Rayborn, these are technically serious concerns in a relationship such as ours." The black clad wizard pointed out. "We are to remain only Professor and student, nothing more. You were extremely fortunate tonight. Had I not delved into your mind during class today, you would be dead. Death is never a solution to heartbreak. However, I would like to express my gratitude for your honesty."

I was silent.

Severus looked at me and sighed loudly. "I know this seems cruel to hear. I do take great pride in you as one of my finest students."

I turned away from him and stormed out. I could not bear to hear more. I tried to hide the tears without success.

Sighing heavily, the dark professor began brewing his usual vial for Dumbledore. The Headmaster had been infected by a poison recently and with an intricate potion, Severus was effective at slowing the progression of the poison.


	2. Chapter 2

Several days passed since my suicide attempt. I avoided Snape at all possible costs in the corridors. I never stayed out after school hours. I ignored him in class except when called on. I eluded all thoughts of him whatsoever. I noticed his eyes lingered on me when I would answer a question in class for him. One day about a month after I began evading the professor, he asked me to stay after class.

"I must congratulate you, Miss Rayborn." The Potions Master told me silkily.

"Why?" I asked him gingerly.

An awkward silence. "In one month, you have somehow managed to forget about me."

"There was never anything to remember, sir."

Severus sighed, looking down at me. "I know you have been avoiding me, Miss Rayborn. Reveal to me why."

"It was a mistake." I protested. "I was wrong. I did not love you."

There was a long pause broken by a deep sigh from Snape. "You know very well that I can penetrate your mind. Lying to me will prove nothing."

"I was avoiding you because I believed it was the best solution to the dilemma." I replied coolly. "Unless you yourself have feelings for me."

Severus turned away from me and walked over to his storeroom. He said nothing further.

I took it as my cue to leave.

At dinner that evening, I felt his eyes on me in the Great Hall. I looked up to see Severus watching me from the High Table. Obsidian hues locked on my green. The black wizard heaved a sigh with a sad gaze I had never seen before. I almost regretted glancing up there.

After dinner, I rushed out only to find him standing in front of me as I made my way to the dorms. "Going somewhere, Miss Rayborn?" The same intense dark gaze I saw from the High Table.

"What do you want from me, sir?"

He sighed. "I never punished you for that evening one month ago. I had mercy on you, despite the attempt on your life. Perhaps you should repay me with detention."

"Perhaps I should not." I snapped, walking past him.

Severus seemed to become angry with my disrespect. "I would watch my tongue if I were you, Miss Rayborn."

"I would not." I continued walking. I heard him sigh impatiently behind me before I saw a flash of black smoke surround me. When I looked around me again I was in the DADA classroom and Severus was in front of me.

"Tell me it is not true..." He demanded, as he began to encircle me slowly. "Tell me in all veracity that I am incorrect..." Another pause before his velvet tone picked up again. "Tell me you now feel nothing for me..." My heart pounded as he continued. "And I shall leave you be, Miss Rayborn." The professor breathed out as he finally stopped back in front of me where he started.

"Are you serious?" I asked incredulously.

"Did I stutter?" Snape retorted, glaring darkly at me.

"I feel nothing for you." I told him coldly. "I suppose the news has not reached your ears yet. I am now dating Harry Potter. If you imagined that I still loved you, then you are indeed a fool, professor."

He released a heavy sigh. "Perhaps I was a fool...to return such sentiment then."

"You're joking, right?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

Severus scowled. "Do I sound amused, Miss Rayborn?"

I remained silent.

Severus took a deep breath. "I do not take this lightly. The previous time I was...in love many years ago, I was betrayed."

"If you are trying to encourage sympathy, I have none to give."

I saw a flicker of deep hurt in his eyes before Severus was inches from my face. His eyes glittered dangerously and his tone was low and menacing. "Then I hope Potter teaches you a similar lesson, Miss Rayborn. Perhaps you will be the next victim of a broken heart."

I stood there in shock as he towered over me. The stoic and frigid facade was back again. "I know this is all an act, sir. I have seen you already. There is a magician behind the curtain, a kind man behind the mask of cruelty."

The glare melted completely as he sighed dramatically. "Why are you playing these games with me, Miss Rayborn? Are you truly seeing Potter or not?"

"I was, to get even with you." I answered honestly. "But I can stop."

Severus studied me intently. "I wish to trust you, Miss Rayborn. I honestly do. I have been truthful with you, hiding nothing of my emotions from you. Please do the same in return, and you may see a different side of me than you have."


	3. Chapter 3

"I-I can't think right now." I stammered, heading for the classroom door.

"There could be a solution to your dilemma, Miss Rayborn." Severus spoke up.

"What dilemma?" I pressed.

He sighed. "We both have...similar difficult decisions to make. My predicament is much less dramatic, of course." Severus commented. "As such, perhaps you can be of service to me and I to you."

"What do you propose?" I was ready to do anything to get my mind off of him. Magic, drugs, therapy...

"You will come here every evening to mark essays, clean cauldrons and aid me with everything I need." The professor told me. "And in return, I shall prove to you that we are not romantically compatible."

Anything but that.

"I can't." I answered.

Severus raised an eyebrow.

"I want to spend less time with you, not more. How am I supposed to get over this crush if you're around me?" I inquired. "It sounds a lot like detention."

Severus let an intense sigh escape his lungs. "I will be assisting you in forgetting about me. It is quite simple...we become involved in a romantic relationship. Once you realize what you are getting into, you will not be enamored of me any longer."

"Ok, I'll do it..." I was still vaguely unsure I should put myself through this.

He took a deep breath. "You can thank me later, Miss Rayborn."

"I was thinking, if we're going to really do this, we should be on a first name basis." I suggested.

Severus watched me a moment before sighing. "Very well, Geneva. You have permission to call me Severus."

I opened the door to leave. "I'll see you tonight after dinner then."

"No one must know about this." He warned me before I left. I turned back and nodded, seeing that his black eyes were fixed on me in a piercing gaze.

"It'll be our secret." I promised, finally getting to leave the stifling room alone with him.

I went to my next class, hoping tonight would not be an absolute disaster.


	4. Chapter 4

I went to dinner in the Great Hall that evening. I could feel the intense pair of onyx eyes on me as I entered.

Once I looked up at the High Table my suspicions proved true. The Potions Master was staring down at me, his charcoal orbs probing mine.

Severus made small conversation with the Headmaster before looking back at me again. I rolled my eyes at him and I saw his shoulders heave as he let out a sigh.

I finished my dinner and left the hall. Seeing that Severus was at my heels, I started jogging to stay ahead of him.

Finally I made it to the Potions classroom before he arrived a few seconds later.

"Miss Rayborn-"

"Geneva. Hello, Severus." I greeted.

Severus sighed. "Geneva, I want my storeroom spotless. I want the ingredients rearranged in the correct order."

"And you will give me a lesson in return?"

"There were no lessons promised..." He paused. "However...we discussed something of this nature."

Severus closed in the gap between us and locked his lips with mine. He deepened the kiss and broke it slowly. Severus took a deep breath in, looking at me carefully. "Does this fuel hatred for me?"

"No...not at all. In fact, I'm seeing stars." I replied. "You made me want another."

Severus took a breath and sighed it from his lungs. "Very well. I shall have to consider other options."

"I'll get started on the storeroom." I said, walking to the door.

I heard him sigh loudly and the heavy footfalls of his boots as he retreated to his desk to mark parchment.

About an hour later, I was putting the last few items up on the top shelf in the back when I missed a step on the ladder. I let out a cry before strong arms caught my inevitable plunge to the hard floor.

My arms covered my head instinctively to protect my face. But no fall ever came. My shut tight eyes opened to see obsidian orbs peering back at me.

Severus put me down so I could stand in front of him. "Next time be more careful, Miss Rayborn."

"Yes, Severus." I said. "I'm finished."

He looked at me curiously. "Perhaps with one task. There are several I assign to students who receive detention."

"I'm not in detention."

Severus sighed, giving me a helpless look. "Geneva, you may not be in detention but you are here to assist me in anything I may need. We have an arrangement."

"Which you have not delivered on yet."

The professor sighed, turning away from me. "Love is complicated. It requires time to fade and die. Your feelings for me are no different."

"I'm out." I retorted. "I would rather suffer in silence than suffer here being this close to you."

"You ungrateful child." Severus spun around, a dark glare fixed on me. "You have seen a side of me that most are unaware exists."

"I have been kind to you, whereas others receive only cruelty." He continued, advancing on me in the storeroom until I was pinned to the back shelf. "I have saved your life and this is how you repay me?"

Something flashed in his eyes that I couldn't quite identify. "Get. Out."

"Wait, Severus. I'm sorry. I didn't mean any harm."

Severus softened a bit. He inhaled sharply and sighed deeply. I could feel his breath on me as it left his lungs. "Tread very carefully, Miss Rayborn."

"Why are you so angry all of the time? It's like you're angry at the whole world and everyone in it. Calm down."

Severus took in a deep breath and sighed slowly. Again I felt the hot breath on me as he exhaled from his lungs.

"Better?"

His eyes remained locked to mine. "Why are you doing this to me, Geneva?"

"I-I'm doing something to you now?"

Black eyes raked down my figure before Severus pulled me to him in a furious kiss. We made out passionately until he broke the kiss. "Yes, you are."

The dark Professor continued boring his eyes into me before finally sighing deeply and walking out of the storeroom.

I straightened up and followed him out into the classroom.

"Not only are you doing something, Geneva. I believe you are consistently perceptive of it." Severus told me.

"Could we get back to my forgetting you?"

"You still wish to forget me..." Severus trailed off. "...Knowing that I share feelings similar with you?"

"No." I hesitated. "I don't know why I love you."

Severus turned white as a ghost. He let out a long sigh, sitting down at his desk. "You may go now."


	5. Chapter 5

"But what if I want to stay?" I questioned.

An overwhelming sigh was breathed from his lungs. "I believe you have overstayed your welcome, Miss Rayborn."

"Severus-"

"Now!" He bellowed.

I flinched and ran out of the room.

Severus heaved a deep sigh and continued marking the large stack of parchment.

I skipped the next few evenings of assisting the Potions Master.

Then one day the next week, I was heading to breakfast and passed Severus in the corridor.

"Miss Rayborn..." He breathed.

I ignored him, continuing on my way.

Severus huffed and continued down toward the dungeons.

After I reached the Great Hall, I sat down.

About ten minutes later, Severus appeared at the entrance to the hall. He eyed me as he passed my table down the aisle.

His gaze on me was intense and dark, although unreadable.

Severus walked up to the High Table, taking a seat next to Filius Flitwick. I saw his shoulders rise and fall as he sighed, looking again at me.

He turned back to Filius and they spoke for the rest of breakfast. Severus stole glances at me on and off throughout the meal.

I finished eating and got up to leave.

I left for Potions first. When I got to the classroom, Severus was not there. I sat at a table in the back.

Severus finally arrived after all of the students took their seats. His eyes scanned the room until they landed on me.

"The Potion you will be brewing today is called Befuddlement Draught." Severus drawled. "Who here can tell me the ingredients?"

Instead of choosing Hermione, Severus smirked and chose me. "Miss Rayborn."

I glared at him. "Scurvy grass, lovage, and sneezewort."

He pursed his lips. "I suspect a photographic memory is at work here. Correct, Miss Rayborn. However, it will not excuse you from detention this evening."

The Slytherins snickered.

I rolled my eyes. "I've already missed a week. What's another one?"

Severus walked over to my table, placing his hands on either side of me. We were inches apart. "I will see to it personally that you are there, whether I have to hunt you down and drag you there myself." He snarled back.

"Please do, Professor." I smiled.

He sighed. "Why must you infuriate me so, Miss Rayborn?"

Severus went back to the front of the classroom. "Anyone else who shares Miss Rayborn's opinion shall join her in detention as well."

His eyes drifted back to me. "And she will be here, no matter what she tells any of you. Now you have one hour to complete this potion."

Severus let out a sigh and strode to his desk. Black eyes settled on me again from across the room as he started marking parchment.

After class, I started for the door quickly before hearing Severus call out to me.

"Miss Rayborn, a word."

The other students flocked out ahead of me.

"I don't want to talk to you." I snapped.

"I do not care what you want." He shot back, standing and advancing swiftly on me. "You will speak to me and you will be here this evening. We have an arrangement."

"Well I'm over you, which voids any arrangement we have, sir." I retorted. "You saw to that when you removed me from your storeroom last time."

Severus looked at me, slightly shocked and taken aback.

"Now can I go?"

"No." The Potions Master drawled out. He drew in a deep breath, sighing it from his lungs. "I do not believe you are speaking the truth, Geneva...and I know how to tell."

"How-"

I was cut off by Severus pressing his lips to mine. Our lips brushed carefully for a few seconds before he pulled away.

"And now?" His velvet tone inquired, fathomless eyes locked to mine.

"I-I guess not." I told him.

Severus sighed dramatically. "Geneva, I do not know what spell you have placed upon me..." He breathed in, exhaling slowly from his lungs. "But you have bewitched me."

I stood frozen.

"And...I do not care if I have to find you and carry you down here, you will be here this evening with me." Severus informed me, his intense black gaze boring into me.

"All right." I agreed reluctantly.

Severus inhaled and sighed deeply from his lungs. "I...apologize for shouting at you, Geneva. I fear my temper may have frightened you away."

"It's ok." I laughed. "I always knew you were a hothead."

A smirk tugged at his lips. "I shall see you this evening, Miss Rayborn."


	6. Chapter 6

Severus entered the Great Hall for dinner, black robes sweeping behind him adroitly. His dark eyes scanned the room until they landed on me. Our eyes locked for several seconds before he moved on to glance at the Headmaster.

"Severus." Dumbledore greeted him.

"Headmaster." Severus returned politely.

"Correct me if I am wrong. I believe you have been working longer hours. Perhaps an apprentice is in order?"

The Potions Master sighed deeply. "I suppose. I have not the time to train an apprentice."

"Speak no more." Dumbledore told him. "You already have the perfect candidate."

Suddenly his eyes darted back to me.

"Miss Rayborn will suit you well, Severus."

The black haired man sucked a tight breath into his lungs, eyes not leaving me. He slowly sighed the breath from his lungs and looked back to Dumbledore.

"How did you know I was spending extra time with her?"

"I know everything that happens at Hogwarts, Severus." The Headmaster replied with a twinkle in his eye. "I know about that night on the Astronomy Tower. You saved her life, my boy. She may return the favor. She may just save your life in return. You seem to value your time with her greatly. Teach her well."

Severus was shocked.

He drew in a sharp breath and sighed it from his lungs to recompose his stoic exterior. "Very well, Headmaster. She shall be my apprentice."

Dumbledore turned his attention toward McGonagall.

Severus hissed another breath through his hooked nose and into his lungs. He sighed heavily, eyes connecting with mine.

He ate quickly and left the Great Hall.

Descending down the spiral staircase, Severus wondered how this apprenticeship would affect our relationship. He didn't want to break the arrangement by falling in love. The dark wizard sighed loudly. It was already happening to him.

I was waiting for him in the Potions classroom.

He inhaled deeply when he entered the room, observing me sitting at the table. "Geneva."

Severus circled his desk.

"I need some Baneberry Potion. I also have something..." He paused, taking in a sharp breath and letting it out as a sigh from his lungs. "Of importance to tell you."

Severus was apprehensive. "It seems the Headmaster would like you to become my apprentice."

I nodded in surprise.

"As such, you shall need to be here during classes and after dinner, naturally."

The potioneer sighed. "As for our arrangement, I do not know where this shall lead us, Geneva."

"It's ok, Severus. I accept." I replied.

He raised an eyebrow. "I trust you know how to brew the potion I have requested."

"Yes." I stated. "Baneberries, mainly. They make a poisonous, thick red liquid."

Severus sighed in relief.

I set to work brewing the potion for him while he finished the essays for today's papers.

"Your birthday is coming up, isn't it?" I tried to make small conversation.

"Where did you hear that?" His voice came out stern.

"I overheard the professors talking about it."

Severus produced a large sigh from his lungs. "Geneva, this...complicates things between us. I do continue to feel bewitched by you."

"It's fine. I like working with you."


End file.
